http://rageofaquarius.com Tue, 25 May 2010 18:39:27 +0000 http://backend.userland.com/rss092 en I happened across this ad for Sunight Federal Credit Union in the local paper:    I'd rather put my money  under my mattress.   http://rageofaquarius.com/2010/05/sign-of-the-times/ Well, I've solved the problem of "What do I do because I love to eat but I love being thin, too?" It's actually quite simple. Instead of dieting (no fun), all you have to do is install a bypass for your belly. So you can eat what you want to, and ... http://rageofaquarius.com/2010/04/the-dessert-stoma/ I've been pretty vocal that Sheridan needs another place to hang out. Our only non-Starbucks coffee shop that isn't a drive-by shack closes before most people get off work. But this isn't what I had in mind.... I haven't been inside. I'm scared to. The idea of "relaxing" with a supercharged stimulant is funny enough...but the ... http://rageofaquarius.com/2010/04/the-breath-of-god-sells-espresso/ I'm not exactly the cheerleader type, but I have to say: I'm proud enough of my (first) alma mater to rub people's faces in it, when necessary. Like tonight. Granted, Duke still has to beat Butler on Monday night to win the NCAA title. But we're playing in the championship game. Unlike, say, UNC. Or anyone ... http://rageofaquarius.com/2010/04/school-spirit/ I just turned in an application today for a grant I've been piecing together for six weeks. In the grand scheme of things, six weeks isn't a long time. But with a full-time job, working some overnights, trying to wrap up my first play in I-hesitate-to-say-how-long required a lot of emotional energy. I had no ... http://rageofaquarius.com/2010/03/thinking-through-jello/ My new rule: don't read the local paper while eating. I almost choked on this one: In defense of my adopted state: it's a Montana area code. And in defense of Montana: the guy admits he's a "Dick." http://rageofaquarius.com/2010/03/well-dont-this-just-sez-it-all/ For a long time, my math skills were comparable to my writing abilities. I never liked math as much, but I was good at it. I still like the idea of math. But not so much the numbers. Or at least, not as they apply to calculating time. For example, I've ... http://rageofaquarius.com/2010/03/bad-math/ First thing you should know about this story: it's all true. Second: I am not  particularly susceptible to suggestion. I was one of the few kids at sleepovers who couldn't be put into a trance. I consider myself rational. I am a devout atheist. Yet I am convinced that the house I ... http://rageofaquarius.com/2010/03/the-resident/ It took me over an hour to realize that the smell was coming from my car. The first time I caught a whiff of what I assumed was the runoff from a slaughterhouse, I was parked outside Community Health. Naturally, I assumed the rotting-flesh-scent was emanating from the clinic's parking lot. (Only insured people get to park ... http://rageofaquarius.com/2010/02/the-mysterious-case-of-the-dead-animal-in-the-manifold/ It took me over half an hour this afternoon to realize that the nasty stench I couldn't get away from was coming from my own clothing. I didn't recognize it right away, because I'd only smelled it once before: in my office coat closet. It was the same disgusting b.o. ... http://rageofaquarius.com/2010/01/cubicle-pollution/