For a long time, my math skills were comparable to my writing abilities. I never liked math as much, but I was good at it. I still like the idea of math. But not so much the numbers. Or at least, not as they apply to calculating time.

For example, I’ve been having a distressingly difficult time figuring out my hours at work. I was advised to break down the hours I worked each day by the clock. So Monday’s hours would encompass 12:01 am to 11:59 pm. Logical. Except I work overnight shifts. And probably shouldn’t be trying to calculate my hours when I get home in the morning.

Here’s the dilemma: I go to work at 11 on Friday night and get off at 7 am Saturday morning. So that’s 1 hour for Friday and 7 for Saturday. Except I go back to work at 7pm on Saturday and get off at 7 am Sunday morning. OK: So that’s still 1 for Friday, we’re up to 12 for Saturday, and now we’re adding 7 for Sunday. Until I go back to work at 6pm Sunday and work until midnight. OK….1 for Fri, 12 for Saturday, 13 for Sunday. It adds up, but I still feel like I’m working 8 hours Fri, 12 on Sat and 6 on Sun.

And then came daylight savings time. I was almost apoplectic.

Worse: the elliptical dilemma. I was doing 10 miles in 48 minutes, and thought that meant 4.8 minute miles. I should just be able to take off a zero, right? But then I did 10 miles in 51 minutes–a 3 minute total difference from my earlier time. OK, so obviously I can’t have done 4.8 minute miles because the difference between 4.8 minute miles and 5.1 minute miles is 30 seconds each mile. Which adds up to more than a 3 minute total difference.

I still haven’t figured out how fast I was going.

Or why I can’t just subtract a zero. (Damn you, 60 seconds)

Worse, I can’t figure out why I can’t figure, anymore.

I’ll just have to accept that there are accountants and there are unpublished novelists. The dream is that one day I will write all the time and stop having to calculate the hours I work at all.