I’ve  lived in Wyoming long enough to notice some patterns. One of the most recognizable is in the way the state likes to present itself. Yes, the state as a whole has a persona. Most do, I suppose; we just don’t think about the smaller ones all that much. But picture New York, California or Florida: Did you see guidos, beach blondes and blue hair in your mind’s eye? Maybe it’s just me….

The west feeds off of its cowboy image. There’s ruggedness, independence and history in that archetype. Picture the Marlboro Man, minus the lung cancer. Lately, though, the western hero has been redefinied on the airwaves. If you will allow me to use Sheridan as a microcosm of the whole, here goes. Within five minutes of tuning into any of our local radio stations, you are guaranteed to hear one of the following pop artists, none of which fits the old west image:

1. Pink. The punk/pop princess is the new independent spirit of the west. Or something. Her song “Sober” is on just about every hour. Does this mean WYO has a desire not to drink? I doubt it. But they certainly have no problem with a liberated woman on the radio. Score one for the Equality state.

2. “Paralyzer.” Finger Eleven’s purported club song, if clubs were made up of, say, all white people. Maybe Sheridan really wants to stay up late and p-a-r-t-y? Unlikely, as we don’t have a place to dance within 200 miles. OK, I’m not counting Scores, the bar at the Holiday Inn. I will never be able to accept locals going to a hotel in their own town on a Saturday night. Never. I went there once, three years ago, and still feel ill from the sight of fat white people trying to grind on the dance floor. But maybe that’s because clubs weren’t intended to be strictly Caucasian. Nice try, but minus one for WYO.

3. The Plain White T’s. Admittedly, I’m naive about radio’s source of revenue. But my theory is that in Sheridan, every dollar is presently coming from the Plain White T’s label, manager and possibly the band members themselves. They’re on CONSTANTLY. And they only have two singles! Now, the music itself is sweet, charming, catchy and cute. So there we have it, the new musical archetype of the new west: harmless.

Personally, I would prefer to go back to something that sounds the way Jack Palance looked. Grizzled, full of wisdom, tobacco and beef. Now what that sounds like, I have no idea. But I’ll know it when I hear it.

And knowing Sheridan, I’ll hear it over and over and over….