I have no idea what I was thinking. I won’t justify my actions. Call it hunger, call it stupidity. I just got my tooth (#19 for those of you in the dental know) drilled and filled. For this, my gums were shot full with two needles worth of some unknown numbing agent. Call it Novocaine. 

At work, a quick check in the mirror confirmed that no, my left cheek doesn’t pop out like Mount Olympus, even though it truly feels like Chip ‘n’ Dale. Apparently I can talk, too, if more slowly than usual. But here’s where I got in my own way: I hadn’t had my breakfast yet (two walnuts and a pinch of raisins don’t count. No matter how skinny you are/want to be.) So I made myself a piece of rice bread toast and smeared it with peanut butter.

Brilliant!

I can’t open my mouth to begin with, and now I’ve just added a tablespoon worth of glue. Yummy, peanuty glue that tastes like manna from planet fat, but guarantees that my conversational response time will be even slower than it already was with multiple needles of Novocaine jabbed deep into my oral cavity.

Getting the dark spot on a prominent tooth removed before the wedding: good idea. Gluing my trap shut: well, it depends on who you ask. I’m sure there are people around me who don’t mind the silence, actually.

There’s a lesson in here, somewhere….