The revelation came in stages.
First I was forced to admit that, in the age-old “dog person” vs “cat person” dichotomy, I was solidly coming down on the side of the felines. Much to my dismay. Members of the cat camp seem way too emo/cardigan sweater/no muscle tone/Lifetime TV for me to want to join their ranks. Dog people, at [...]

The snake was, apparently, hidden in the tall grass. There certainly is a lot of it to hide in: Chez Chris and the Man, we mow a two-people-and-a-dog-sized patch a couple times a year and let the rest lie fallow. It’s a good way to get your neighbors not to stop by unannounced. (Though ours is far from the most ignored house on the block: [...]

“I see something shitty happening in the world, and I slap some zombies on it.” –George Romero.
The Peter Travers review of Diary of the Dead included this quote, which makes me want to rent his entire zombie canon this weekend. My plan is to settle down with a big bowl of popcorn, a cake, and a catheter only [...]

This is the second time it’s happened to me. I got dumped online. Worse: I have absolutely no idea who did it.
All I know for sure is I woke up the other morning with one fewer “friend.”
The first time was easier to take.  I was deleted by a certifiably crazy woman who’d done the same to [...]

Last week, I honestly heard this, word for word, reported as news on a local radio station:
“A lamb was killed by a wolf this week in Bitterroot, Montana.”
Now, this was before Russia started giving Georgia gunpowder noogies. It was even before the Olympics opening ceremonies. But we ARE in an election year. A very important election [...]

I guess I should downgrade what I call my morning exercise. Let’s use the term “jog” from now on. Because today I actually RAN for a few miles (why? I guess I wanted to feel like a speeding bullet). And now I can barely hobble around the office.
Funny, you’d think six miles a day at any [...]

Yesterday, while huffing and puffing my way up a hill that could by all rights be called a mountain, I happened upon a frightening revelation. Where previously I’d been thrilled to see so many Obama signs stuck into lawns in my small, conservative town, I suddenly realized that the lawns they were stuck into were largely the ones with tall, [...]

Don’t get me wrong: I’m no fan of intense heat. My skin turns pink and peels just thinking about direct sunlight. Worse, I have a naturally ruddy complexion, on top of which sunburn makes me looks like an Oompa Loompa (in the Gene Wilder version). Applying makeup only makes it worse. Then I look like I work in a candy factory AND a [...]

I’m not sure I believe that today, 8/8/8 is so lucky. Less than five minutes into our run this morning, my dog got mauled by some unseen animal, requiring stitches. His face has three deep clawmarks on either side from the eye to the snout. His ear was torn almost in two. His belly and his leg were slashed [...]

After four years of mile-high living, I saw my first mountain lion this morning. I’m proud to report that I didn’t scream, or freak out, or do anything remotely “girlie.” My bladder held up just fine, too, thank you very much. In fact, two thoughts occurred simultaneously: “I should probably be afraid,” and “There’s nothing to worry [...]