After bemoaning my fate for a full 24 hours I decided it’s not the worst thing in the world to be on antibiotics in the summertime. The whole “take while eating” part, for starters. That’s always a sweet directive. Though I have to admit the line about avoiding dairy products threw me for a loop. I could practically hear the Skinny Bitch book people laughing in the background. “We’ll make a vegan out of you yet! Mwah ha ha ha!”

Fat chance, skinny bitches.

What was really worrisome to me, though, was the thought of a weeklong hypersensitivity to sun. I mean, it’s mid-July. There’s about six more weeks’ worth of outdoor activities to be had in WY, and then not so much until, uh, next July. But I went to the Siren Music Festival on antibiotics once. I almost passed out, stone cold sober. So I know that sun and medications (or maybe just Coney Island and big crowds) don’t mix.

Today, though, I happened upon an interesting revelation: I actually revel in the role as a delicate flower. While eating lunch with a friend in the park, I had to be the one to request a shady spot. La dee da dee da…. “Can we sit over here, under this tree, with our legs crossed and our teacups balanced precariously on one knee?” Damn if I didn’t want a parasol.

Porcelain dolls have something on us sun junkies, I’m thinking. The whole pale skin thing is hard to maintain without an element of learned helplessness. For a week, it might be fun to dabble in: ”Can’t chat, have to run, might catch a UV ray, so sorry…” 

…So long as I can go right back to soaking up the Vitamin D, eating wedges of cheese, while I make fun of vegans for casting such skinny shadows.